Women and men in search of themselves: It's time for a shared transformation

In recent years, more and more women here – in Macedonia – feel an inner calling to help others. These are women who choose humane professions: psychologists, coaches, yoga instructors, energy healers, wellness program leaders. Women are increasingly seeking knowledge, attending seminars, completing self-discovery education and opening up to feminine energy and its power.

I feel this trend deeply and see it as part of an archetypal shift – an awakening of the Wise Woman, of the Great Mother, of the woman who not only cares, but also knows how to heal. And that is beautiful.

But more and more often I ask myself the question:
What happens to men in this process? If only women work on themselves, can we really build a healthy society?

Why is the number of men attending educational seminars, retreats, or transformational programs still so low?

I have the impression that many men tend to hide. And yes, here in Macedonia, they usually hide in taverns, in motorcycle clubs, behind a beer in front of a betting shop or in extreme sports – always in the company of other men. In fact, on an unconscious energy level, a man receives confirmation of himself and his existence from the male gender and maybe that is why it is like that. And I do not dispute that. There should be both male and female activities or clubs. But, it seems to me that men in these areas unconsciously run away from any possibility of self-transformation and have (again unconsciously) a tendency towards self-destruction: gambling, alcohol, cigarettes, unhealthy eating, emotional distancing from their wives or children, etc.

I'm not judging here. I know there are exceptions. This is just my opinion.

In the past – a hundred or more years ago – men died for the freedom of their country. They were commies, partisans, fighters… They truly gave their lives unreservedly to protect their families. Courage, sacrifice, and responsibility are inscribed in the male identity.

But such wars are long over. 
It is time for men to stand up, rise up and continue their fight – but this time internally. It is time for courage to be shown through self-care, family care, emotional maturity with a purpose. to transform from boys into present, stable, and mature men.

I also remember a transition syndrome that appeared among men in Macedonia in the 90s – when it was a time of transition. Many were fired from their jobs, left without a clear role in the new society. And they found themselves… in front of the couch – with the “remote” in hand. Empty. Angry. Powerless. Those men were our fathers, uncles, brothers – people who did not know how to deal with the loss of status and shame. And then women took on the “main” role and began to fight “manly” with the challenges. Probably just like women in the past had to stay alone and survive, while men went to wars and died.

I think that men today – unconsciously – imitate those models. Because the behaviors and roles of a man, father, brother... are unconsciously passed down through generations. On an energetic level, a man gets his strength, energy, and attitude from his father or grandfather, that is, from someone in his male lineage.

But we women are different. We build our energy, our new version through different sources: through neighbors, friends, seminar leaders, mentors, other women who are our inspiration and role model, and naturally from our mother or grandmother. Women transform themselves through exchange and learning from multiple models.

And men… seem to remain anchored in memories of the past, memories of their fame, prestige, or power.

I've been working with groups of people for over 15 years. And what I keep seeing is that On average, 80% of those present are women. That percentage has slowly started to change in recent years, but women are still the ones who are most likely to be interested in working on themselves.

However, I deeply believe that The skill of growing, understanding, and transforming is equally important for both men and women. That's why in my work I pay attention to both male and female energy – equally. Working as a therapist, as a trainer or coach with people means accepting everyone – without gender, without divisions or exclusions and creating exclusive events for women only or men only.

That's why my events, retreats, seminars are not exclusively intended for women.

They are open to every single being who wants to make a change, who has a desire to meet themselves, who wants to bring awareness, love and development into their lives – regardless of gender.

I believe that men need their own form of support. And it doesn't have to be the same as women, but we have to give them space for honesty, for maturity, for questioning.

Only if we grow together – will we be able to create healthy children, healthy families, and a healthy society.

This is not a women's revolution.

This is human evolution.

Love and light

Biljana Pesheva

trainer, yoga instructor, wellness coach and author.

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about the author: Biljana is the founder of the brand Healthy Life Skills  & Healthy Yoga where he holds seminars, retreats, active vacations, trainings and classes to reduce stress and tension in the modern man using a comprehensive (holistic) approach in working with individuals and groups.