Wellness Afterwork & Релациските потреби: Науката и магијата на поврзувањето

Lately, the internet has been flooded with videos and photos of the little one. Pinch monkey from Japan – an adorable creature that quickly captured the attention of the entire world.

But what really makes Pinch special is not just his appearance, but the way he bonds with his caregivers: he constantly seeks contact, touch, tenderness, and reassurance. While he may seem like an internet attraction, Pinch is a reminder of something much deeper: that connection is a key biological and psychological mechanism for development – in all living things.

Pinch is not "attention seeking" – it requires a connection. The same goes for children. The same goes for adults. The need for connection does not disappear with age – it just changes form. From childhood bonding to adult love relationships. In childhood, bonding with parents creates a foundation for trust, security, and a sense of worth. In adults, these developmental mechanisms do not disappear – they they are only expressed through relational needs.

According to the psychologist Richard Erskine, relational needs are fundamental psychological needs that enable healthy development, inner stability, and authenticity. They appear in all relationships: partner, professional, friendly, and even in the process of personal growth and development. But before we look at relational needs, it is important to understand another powerful force in human development…

Change as a challenge: why is it so hard to grow up?

According to Erskine, the process of desired change is often unpleasant because: we leave „our natural environment“ – old habits and established relationships – we risk losing a sense of continuity and disrupting psychological homeostasis – or internal balance, which in turn causes our “"scripted"” beliefs and frames of reference.

As human beings, we crave predictability. Even when old habits don't serve us, they are familiar to us – and the familiar provides a sense of security.

On the other side Eric Berne – the father of transactional analysis talks about the phenomenon Physis in relationships, which represents the inner drive in man that leads him to growth, health, authenticity, and well-being. Fritz Perls calls it "the excitement and growth of the human personality," and Saint Catherine of Siena describes it with the powerful words: "Be what God intended for you, and you will set the world on fire."„

It is between these two poles – the fear of change and Physis – that the personal growth and development.

Relational needs, according to Erskine, are the foundation of healthy relationships and personal development.

Erskine develops relational needs as an extension of children's developmental needs and connects them to universal mechanisms for emotional health.

They are:

Need for security To be able to be who we are – without judgment. A relationship is safe when our vulnerability is protected, understood and respected.
Need for recognition and affirmation To be seen, recognized, and accepted not because of what we do – but because of who we are.
Need for a stable and trustworthy other person Someone we can rely on – a mentor, a partner, a parent, a therapist.
Need for mutual experience To be with someone who "knows what it's like" and has had a similar experience. Hence the power of support groups.
Need for self-definition To express and preserve our own uniqueness – without fear of punishment or judgment.
The need to influence To know that what we do, feel, or say has meaning and an effect on the other.
Need for the other to initiate contact Relationships should be two-way. When only one party initiates, the relationship becomes painful.
The need to express love Let's show love – and let it be received, recognized, and appreciated.

These needs exist in all adults – regardless of age, profession, or life story. They are not a luxury, but a prerequisite for healthy psychological development.

When we satisfy these needs – we grow. When we don't satisfy them – we close down or fight.

And here we come to the question: Where can adults today build healthy relationships, connect, and support personal growth?

WELLNESS AFTERWORK –

was connection, rest and development all in one

Another successful project was recently implemented on this very topic. Wellness Afterwork hanging out in „"Literature"“ at East Gate Mall, where we were delighted to create a warm, supportive and inspiring atmosphere together. The event was hosted by

Bojana Petrovska – "My Psychologist"„
Biljana Pesheva – “Healthy Life Skills”

and as a special guest at the panel discussion we had

Daniel Trbogazov – "My coach"„

We talked about relational needs, how to build personal balance, the challenges of change, and what it means to be well – in body, mind, and relationships.

The biggest message was precisely this: Man grows in relationship. Man heals in relationship. Man changes in relationship.

Like Pinch who seeks his security – so too do we, regardless of age, seek ours. …

The need for connection does not disappear with age. It just changes form.

Instead of asking for a hand like a child, we ask for:

a partner who will understand us
a friend who will listen to us
a mentor who will support us
a therapist who will see us

Even though we are adults, we are essentially still beings who grow through relationships.

The event was supported by our long-time friends Vitamins MK, кои за учесниците подготвија специјални подароци – витамини и спирулина, како дополнителна грижа за нивното здравје и благосостојба. 🌿