Self-love begins with accepting your emotions.

No person can exist without emotions. If they are not there, he will not be able to make any decisions, nor to get involved in anything. He will be like a plant that feeds and eats. Having a desire to feel better, to make money, to escape from danger, all this is normal and emotional in nature. For example, my desire to share my personal experiences and work on self-development with people also comes from emotions.

But, unfortunately, for many people, they identify their life with how emotionally involved they are in something or how stressed they are. They have a constant desire to expose themselves to powerful emotional experiences, for example: to shout, to cry, to argue, to rush… And if they fail to satisfy their emotional hunger, life seems boring and dull to them. I know how it is, I was once in a movie of rush and dynamics and if I calmed down for a moment I thought I was old, boring and invisible. Now I am rushing again 😊 that is a character trait of mine, but I know how to slow down, withdraw and be happy with myself.

Our emotions are sometimes like drugs.

For example, we need to eat because we have a physical need to do so – our stomach is empty, but hunger should not turn into gluttony. If so, then we are most likely satisfying some other unsatisfied emotional need.

If a person gets used to constantly seeking strong emotions, then the water flowing along the canal (metaphorically speaking) gradually erodes the ends of the canal, it becomes wider and more and more water spills out of the bed. This translates to "The more you get used to emotionally strong and powerful experiences, the more you start to need to experience them, again and again..” In this case the need to “feel” emotions is “inflated” and unrealistic.

However, in our culture the role of strong feelings is overestimated. Many people think they need to constantly have intense experiences. to feel something, most often with the words ""so you must feel something."

Honestly, I don't agree that our entire life should be reduced to strong feelings and that only through them is it worth living. Feelings are temporary, it's just some kind of chemistry in the brain, they pass without leaving anything behind, and if you constantly expect strong shocks from life, over time you become their slave and dedicate your entire existence to them!

But I also don't encourage you to turn into insensitive robots. If you have emotions turned on, you will know when and how to stop and limit their negative impact on you and your life.

Is it possible to get rid of negative emotions alone?

I also don't believe at all that a person needs to experience negative emotions in order to know that they are alive and to feel positive emotions. But I honestly think that it is impossible not to have negative emotions, because through them we learn and transform throughout life. Some say that if you have positive emotions, you must also have negative ones. But does that mean the opposite, if we suffer less then we will rejoice – less?

In my youth, I was a very emotional person and the amplitude of my sensory vibrations ranged from deep despair and depression to euphoria and enthusiasm! But when I started practicing yoga regularly and working on myself in groups for personal growth and development, my situation stabilized. I began to experience much less negative emotions. But I wouldn't say that I became less happy, on the contrary, my mood easily lifted at any moment. Of course, today I am very far from the person I was in my youth. My emotional side in recent years has very often been filled with a feeling of quiet joy, peace and happiness.

So I don't deny that I have amplitudes in my mood and emotions, honestly my children know how to bring me to highs and lows... but when I'm alone with myself, I can say that I am stable and positive with myself and the life around me.

Instead of philosophizing, I'm telling you my personal experience.

Suppression of emotions, especially feelings of sadness, guilt, and shame, leads people to a depressive reaction. Sadness, guilt, and shame often force you to replace personal values with ego values, believing that it will be easier for you. But in doing so, you are investing your strength in pursuing a dream that is not destined to come true, because it is based on illusion.

The illusion lies in the fact that a person's condition and the degree of their satisfaction depend on the reaction of others, on material goods, or on the "mistakes" your parents made on you.

Accepting yourself, your emotions, and approving of yourself as you are gives you immense inner freedom, satisfaction, peace, and tranquility with yourself and the world around you.

Accepting yourself and your positive and negative emotions is a form of the greatest unconditional self-love.

And Love is one of the basic emotions that we all need. From birth to death.

Love and light,
Biljana Pesheva

trainer, yoga instructor, wellness coach and author.

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about the author: Biljana is the founder of the brand Healthy Life Skills  & Healthy Yoga where he holds seminars, retreats, active vacations, trainings and classes to reduce stress and tension in the modern man using a comprehensive (holistic) approach in working with individuals and groups.